What I have learned these past two years of being alone (not single, but isolated)

Some of you who know me know that I have been living in a place where I spend 80% of my time alone. If you want to know why I am in this predicament please read my older writen blog entry titled "Love loss and the internet". Even though my period of isolation is coming to an end in the very near future. A lot has happened these past two years. I'm not going to sit here and lie, and say it was easy. That I was strong and over came being over weight, and always had the will to make changes in my life. I know that I did to them and am on a great path now. However that was not always the case I was very lost for a very long time.

I don't know how to explain what it is like to lose everything, and start over. I do know however that it was a lot harder since I have physically separated from my friends, and when I came back I had not spoken to many of them in years. While some welcomed me back with open arms I can not say the same for others. Some wanted to ridicule me for my choices. Others put the past behind, and did not bring it up at all. The thing is I learned a lot about people in these years. I learned that there are some that will acceept who you are even if they disagree with you on topics like relgion or poloitcs. Others will change and want you to confrom to the way they do things. Their lifestyles, and anything that is diffrent is well not acceptable.

The main problems I have had while being here has been the lack of a soical life. While I did find a social group to belong to it was shot-lived after an argument that resaulted in my reavlaing my true geekness. The enitre time I was hiding who I was to apeise some other group of firends. I was worried that if I was not like them they would not want me near them. Then I grew the fuck up acted like me, and when the shit hit the fan I said fuck you. I relaized that there are a lot of people who do not like me for who I am, but there are just as many people who like me for who I am. No matter how Liberal, and geeky I am, and they do not even have to share my same views. See that is the beauty of true friends. People no matter how much you have fucked up how much you have fallen on your face. Still see the potential and awesomeness in you. The lesson here is to stop being fake only allow people into your life that you can be you around, and sometimes you have to learn that the hard way.

I also learned think that after all that shit I went through I have figured out what I want in a potential mate. Most if it does not have to do with superficial things. Most guy want a girl with big tits, and nothing to her. I want a girl that I can have stimutalting conversation with, and it is ok if she wears glasses and might not fit in a size 0. Besides I like girls who look like girls not skinny ass tooth pick bitches. That is ok fuck what other people think. Oh your girlfriend is not a 10 let whisper in a corner. Fuck you I like her and that is all that matters.

I'm not going to edit this. This is insane rambling. Point is I am a Cuban Liberal Gamer Geek Atheist. If you don't like that well too bad.